Tumors in the brain make you painfully aware of the memory loss associated with chemo and cancer. I’m always reading, writing, and playing word games to hopefully use up some unused portions of my brain that aren’t under attack at this time in my life.
I feel like I am doing fairly well memory-wise, but I have moments when names do not appear when I need to greet someone — so if that’s you please cut me some slack.
When baking, cooking, or making soap, I have to focus because it is so easy to get sidetracked and forget something, like eggs in a cookie recipe. Sometimes after taking my daily dose of targeted therapy pills five minutes later, I’m like, “Did I take my drugs?”
Some of my peers maintain it’s old age. So, I’m doing some old-age activities like jigsaw puzzles.
That got me thinking about life in general and a poem I once read.
I’m working on a complicated 1,000-piece puzzle at the moment. I never thought I would get as far as I have because all the pieces are the same color. It takes concentration to identify the matching pieces by the slight changes in color or the shape of the puzzle piece.
Yikes.
Compare that to your life. Sometimes the pieces fit, and sometimes they don’t. So, the best thing to do is walk away. I can stare at six puzzle pieces for an hour and make no sense of the big picture. However, if I walk away and do something else only to return (I’m hooked) an hour later and boom … just like that, pieces fall into place smooth as silk.
I think that’s the way life is. You are a giant puzzle, and some days things do not fit. Then there are days, those lovely days when everything moves along smoothly, and you feel like you got it together.
Here is the poem that is near and dear to my heart and provides the same message. Some of you remember I used to be Sue B. Weaves and traveled around the country selling woven clothes.
The Weaving
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
I remain hopeful that my life is coming together according to God’s plan and not mine. My friend Karen said, “God won’t let you die until he’s ready for you.” It was a comforting thought at the time.
I’m counting on a few more years to continue piecing together the puzzle of my life, but who knows? We have to accept our lot in life, and on that glorious day when we are joined by family and friends who have gone before us, the finished puzzle will be revealed. But today I would like to wait a little longer to see my finished product.
PS: August 1 is lung cancer awareness day. Remember, “Anyone with lungs can get lung cancer.” PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO ENCOURAGE EARLY SCREENING, especially former smokers.
On August 1, let’s unite for LCFA’s social media takeover. Learn, share, and support the fight against lung cancer. Together, we make a difference. 🌟 #WLCD24 #WorldLungCancerDay #LivingWithLungCancer #LungCancer #LungCancerAwareness #LungCancerScreening #UnitedForLungCancer
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