I.amN.otD.eadY.et children so listen up!

Many illnesses are not outwardly obvious, but dealing with them becomes a part of life, and you do what you have to do. Cancer is one of those things.

It may not be easy to understand what feelings run through someone’s head after a cancer diagnosis. Or maybe it is. We all have an opportunity to change our thinking when diagnosed with a chronic disease. I know I have.

It has been a life-changing two-and-one-half years for me and my family.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a poster child for lung cancer? It’s not the easiest life assignment I have ever had, but there are some positives. 

While it’s not always easy to push the negative thoughts out of my head, there are days when I can appreciate the gifts of cancer.

That’s right. I have experienced some “gifts” in this latest life journey. My support group ladies agreed. Not everyone experiences the same “aha” moments, but we have them. 

It’s difficult to be positive when great pain takes over your days or you are faced with end-of-life decisions. But woven into life, no matter the circumstances or disease you face, there are many things to be grateful for. These are a few that come to mind.

1. Periods of stability — when cancer quiets down and I experience deja vu moments when I forget about it completely. I sit on the couch and marvel at each breath.
   
2. A clear calendar — the freedom of weeks without having to have a lab draw, doctor’s visit, CT scan, MRI, or PET scan. May has been such a month for me, the first one since my diagnosis in January of 2023.
   
3. The realization that life is finite — thinking about how truly short life is and how much shorter it became after those dreaded “it’s cancer” conversations brings awareness to how one chooses to live out their remaining time on earth. 
   
4. The true meaning of wealth — trust me, it’s not about the money.
   
5. Family — It has become important to me to keep in touch with my children and grandchildren. I want them to know how much I love them.
6. Spouse(s) — The person you live with who has to see the very worst of your days and can do little about your pain but sticks with you.
   
7. New friends — because of my Stage IV label I have met some new friends in a support group created for those of us who will never be “cured” of cancer. The mutual understanding of what it feels like to live in three-month increments provides a safe space for sharing.
   
8. Old friends — the care, support and positive comments from people I have known, reaching back into my childhood, has been overwhelming. I see myself in a slightly different light these days.
   
9. My church family — While many of these folks fall into the old friends category, there is a special gratefulness for my church family. I believe it is their prayers, and yours, that have given me the miracle of these healthy days.
   
10. Jesus — I had to say it, whether you are with me on this or not, I feel comforted and confident that whatever the next year brings I am not old (my body is) I am eternal.

Then, on a side note, there’s the rain. I am truly grateful for the rain, we needed all of it. However, I worked really hard to get my cold crops planted before I went to Huron for Elle’s Confirmation and now I am thinking those little seeds are drowning and cold. 

It is after all, always will be, North Dakota, where the weather is as unpredictable as life itself — challenging and a “gift” simultaneously.