dying
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The Power of the Pencil: Embracing Your Inner Writer at Christmas
This is the first year I can remember not sending Christmas cards to everyone by the day after Thanksgiving. In past years, I designed many Christmas cards and had them ready to mail by the time the Advent season began. Not this year. This has become my year of wandering in the desert, waiting for Continue reading
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Brief update ‘cause it’s almost Friday
One day of packing, two days of moving, three days at Mayo and the time change have been exhausting this past week. Not to mention, scanxiety at yet one more CT scan on Monday. Yes, scanxiety is something we all experience with upcoming tests. The most difficult part is waiting for results. The good news Continue reading
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Two months to get rid of Wilbur T. Fred
INDY Children began as a way for me to play Jeopardy with my children. I would supply the answers via blog posts, recipes, old photos and stories. You know, categories. When I am gone and they can’t call their mom and ask, “How do you do that?” The answers would be available digitally. Or at Continue reading
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The Last Bouquet: Clearing the Garden and Mind
Way back. At the beginning of summer, I sowed a 90-foot row of zinnias. The seeds are a combination of my saved seeds and gifted seeds from my Aunt Laverna. She has been saving those Dockter family seeds since her grandmother’s day. Zinnias are easy to grow. The colors, sizes and shapes of each bloom Continue reading
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Leavin’ the Garden of Weedin’
Yes, it’s time to say goodbye to the summer, and it’s about time. October is my favorite month of the year. The 10th month of the year provides chill nighttime temperatures for a relaxing sleep. During the daytime, the temperatures have been in the 70s, sometimes reaching the 80s, making it perfect for a walk-about Continue reading
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Cherishing Small Town Memories: A Grandmother’s Reflection
APOLOGY: I am so sorry this is late. This is a busy time of year, and I am preparing to do one more market before the freeze, when my attention will turn to cleaning out the gardens. And, I’m so disappointed I cannot find that photo of me as a cheerleader.) Maybe not all of Continue reading
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Harvesting Memories: A Journey of Resilience
It has been quite a year. Here we are approaching fall, speculating on whether winter will be mild or cold and snowy. The gardens are nearly done producing, and the root cellar has been restocked as the pile of empty jars goes down to nearly nothing. An awesome trade-off. Speaking of trade-offs, I have accomplished Continue reading
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I’m worried about my worry worms
Before leaving for Estonia, we had a farewell lunch together. Nancy and I were flying to Estonia soon, and Shelley was praying for us. There was a lot of laughter, well wishes, and, of course, Shelley brought gifts. Then I shared my worry worms. The camp theme was based on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. Continue reading
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Preparing for My Journey to Estonia: A Personal Reflection
All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go…… This is it. It has been nearly a year since I committed to traveling to Estonia for an Adult Bible Camp. The time has come to check in for my flight. My bags are packed, my testimony written, and my lesson planned. Some of my preparations Continue reading
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Challenges of Gardening (and breathing) in Extreme Weather
This was a good year to cut back on farmers markets. With the damage in my lungs and current medication, I have become sun sensitive, heat sensitive, and unnaturally tan. While it hasn’t stopped me from weeding and harvesting in the early morning, standing in the parking lot in this heat would be very uncomfortable. Continue reading
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In the Garden of Eatin’
My mother cared for the enormous garden behind our house in Fredonia, N.D. She spent hours tending those vegetables, and a strawberry patch of about the same size next to it. One year, to ward off the robins, my dad sat on the back steps and shot the first bird taking advantage of the red Continue reading
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Weaving Success: My Artistic Journey began at Art in the Park, Mandan
My first job in Mandan was at the Mandan News and Finder. It was back then, in the late 1970s, that I was introduced to the town that celebrates the Fourth of July like no other. There were decorations, fireworks, rodeos, children’s events, and Art in the Park. It was at a booth in the Continue reading
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The Joy of Watching Grandchildren Grow
There is no greater joy than grandchildren. Somehow, while raising my children, I missed out on observing how a child progresses from non-communication to endless questions and observations. My friend Shelley maintains we are too busy as moms making sure they are fed and cared for to notice the nuances of the toddler stage. Being Continue reading
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From Seeds to Serenity
Many families spent Memorial Day weekend on a lake, cooking out, eating watermelon, and relaxing. The rest of us, well everybody knows at least one, worked frantically planting our gardens. After the most welcome rain and ever-warming nighttime temperatures, gardening has begun in earnest. Overnight, the trees have greened, the grass lushed up and will Continue reading
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Lessons from ‘Warning’ by Jenny Joseph
Remember the poem everyone called “When I Am an Old Woman?” It was written in 1961 by a 29-year-old woman named Jenny Joseph. The poem’s real title is “Warning.” If you are not familiar with this poem, here ya go. When I am an old woman I shall wear purpleWith a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.And I shall spend my pension on brandy Continue reading
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Celebrating Small Victories
Again, with Tom Petty (he’s a heartbreaker) and the lyrics to another song he produced —Sure as night will follow dayMost things I worry ‘boutNever happen anyway The song “Crawling Back To You,” was probably not written about crawling back to Jesus, but somehow the lyrics could easily mean whomever you trust to be there Continue reading
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A Year of Healing: Birthday Reflections After Cancer
March is a month of birthdays in our family. Growing up, my dad did not acknowledge birthdays. When the subject was broached, his answer was, “It’s just another day.” There were no huge birthday parties growing up. No mountains of gifts, and no grandparents in attendance, but we did get birthday cake, I think. When Continue reading
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A time of German-Russian purgatory
When man plans, God laughs. It’s been eight days since my hospital stay. Eight days of German-Russian purgatory. For anyone joining me on this cancer journey, I recently posted my long list of commitments for the year, trusting I would be well enough to follow through. I was feeling so normal I filled my calendar Continue reading
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I’ve seen the end and it ain’t pretty
Ever had the wind knocked outta your sails to the point of capsizing the boat? It has been such a couple of weeks. I have spent hours gathering my thoughts to put down in words. I have seen the end and it ain’t pretty. The past two weeks have been colored with grief at the Continue reading
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Embracing Life During Cancer: My Journey Forward
Somehow when you are painfully aware that you are in the winter of your life with a non-curable disease, you think almost daily, “What should I do now?” There are so many things I want to do or be a part of. What do I do? By nature, I am the type of person who Continue reading
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Finding Peace in the Cold: A Personal Health Journey
Creeeaaaaaccccckkkk. My heart skipped a beat at the sound of an unfamiliar crack. A very loud noise. The house at last surrendered to the weight of the cold that blew in overnight. It settled over the area like a weighted blanket. Below zero kind of cold creates a hush. It was quiet, as if Continue reading
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Embracing Faith While Facing Uncertainty
Imagine opportunities you can see across the Missouri River. You dig your toes into the sandy beach and shield your eyes from the rising sun. The shore looks a long way off. You aren’t a good swimmer and the water is cold. Inside your belly, a fire burns longing to get to the other side. Continue reading
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Let me tell you ‘bout my Jesus
It is done. Not the large tunnel, not the outdoor garden, not the small tunnel, not the flower beds — all of it. Everything. Done. In one day from green and growing to clean for sowing. The sun warmed the still air. People showed up by 10 a.m. By noon, three of us had dumped Continue reading
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Cancer goals: A McIntosh County cemetery tour
One of this year’s “I have cancer” goals involves working less on my passions in life and spending more time with people. (I am an introvert and people wear me out.) I do love spending days in the garden or crocheting for my grandkids. However, it’s been a wonderful year of reconnecting with my past Continue reading
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Cancer, Gratitude, and God’s Tender Mercies
After a challenging week involving medical procedures and family events, the author expresses gratitude for their home, health, and support. Despite the ongoing battle with cancer, they embrace each day as a precious gift, drawing inspiration from a poem and their faith. The author encourages others to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and kindness. Continue reading
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Navigating Life’s Seasons: A Tale of Friendship Through the Years
Karen and I met in college. Fifty years ago. 1974. Wahpeton, ND. North Dakota State School of Science or NDSSS. On a side note when people out of state asked me where I went to college, and I told them NDSSS, the next question was … Diversionary tactics are important when scanxiety sets in. Yes, Continue reading
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Overcoming Cancer Doubts: A Journey of Faith and Reminders
Some days I feel so normal, whatever that means. Some days there are moments I can forget I have cancer. My body seems to be working just fine. I can make it through the day without napping every hour. I can weed for hours on my hands and knees on a beautiful August morning. I Continue reading
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50th Class Reunion: Rediscovering Memories
As a journalist, I had the privilege of interviewing many people for newspaper articles and the two books I wrote about Germans from Russia. Most interviewees begin by saying, “I have nothing to say that anyone would want to listen to.” By the end of the interview, they would say, “Thank you so much for Continue reading
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There’s no such thing as 15 minutes in McIntosh County
Last week was a week of loss. First, my Aunt Alma went to sleep Saturday evening and woke up Sunday morning in heaven close to one month before her 96th birthday. Then my old neighbor, Jerry Serhienko, followed her two days later. There have been two new cancer diagnoses since then also.It must be my Continue reading
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Spring’s Promise: Finding Beauty and Strength in the Garden
We are tying up loose ends as we prepare to head to Rochester, MN, to Mayo Clinic to “literally” have my head examined. Ask me how I feel about that. I am due for a MRI on my brain to see the progress on shrinking tumors hit with the Gamma Knife procedure in January. The Continue reading
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Cancer, Courage, and Cenotes: A Journey of Facing Fears and Finding Strength
The author reflects on a summer filled with normalcy, enjoyable farmer’s markets, and a trip to Mexico despite cancer. The vacation included confronting fears by snorkeling and exploring Mayan ruins. The experience taught that cancer can give courage and the support of loved ones is essential for moving forward positively. Continue reading
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Overcoming Loss: The Story of ‘Dan’, a Resilient Tree and Symbol of Hope
I love plants. My house is full of plants. If a leaf drops and you leave it lying on top of the soil it becomes another plant and they continue to grow and reproduce until you have a houseful of plants. The front of our house has a long porch with lots of windows. Those plants love it out Continue reading
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Life is short and then your taxes are due
I’m caught somewhere between spring 2023 and spring 2024 at the moment. With the medical benefit, Easter, my birthday, and the stomach flu, somehow I lost my bearings. I do, however, feel like I should have thanked everyone for the countless well wishes, cards, donations, love, prayer, and support that I don’t think I deserve Continue reading
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Coming out
By now, you may have heard the news about Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s cancer. There was quite a hullabaloo regarding the fact he hadn’t disclosed any information about his cancer before his recent hospitalization. Granted, I am not a VIP, and my cancer did not make headlines, but I know why he did what he Continue reading
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Ring my bell, ring bell…
It’s here finally. I baked a couple of cakes. The first was a three-layer white cake with Swiss buttercream. If I am honest, that frosting tasted like I buttered each layer twice with sweetened butter. Lucy and I love white cake. Elle and I love chocolate cake. I never met a cake I did not Continue reading
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Tying up loose ends
While you might be waiting for the end of treatment post with bated breath, I’m side-tracking a bit this week. Somewhere between the end of the farmer market season in 2022 and the 2023 cancer diagnosis, I took on a project I have been meaning to attempt for some years now — collect the Kaseman Continue reading
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There’s always a tomorrow when it comes to birthdays
JUST FYI: the birthday cake on Monday’s post was one that Claire made for someone else. IT WAS Not the strawberry one from the cancer center folks. X-rays, biopsies, doctor appointments, radiation, chemo, immunotherapy, nurses, weigh-ins, and cancer. These are the things that rob your memory. Thank goodness there are iPhones and sons. I mentioned Continue reading
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Week two treatment – Happy Birthday to me
The second week of treatment was pretty much the same as week one. Everyone at the cancer center was so nice. I told someone I knew why people went to the doctor as often as they did because they were treated with such tenderness. It might have felt like love.The staff also knew we were Continue reading
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The woman in the (not iron) mask
I think I can, I think I can — I can do anything for 15 minutes. Nothing could have prepared me for the hijacking of my body the way cancer did. How long had those mutating cells been slowly taking over my lung? Had I been feeling healthy for a year, or two, or three, Continue reading
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What would a CT scan reveal before the biopsy and PET?
Without opening my eyes, my first conscious thought was, “I have lung cancer.” Somehow, my life began to blur and my mind moved to going over every detail of the past two months. At this point the word cancer didn’t seem etched in stone, but I knew something was not right. I didn’t have any Continue reading
About Me
I love to write. My background is graphic arts and journalism. My roots are German-Russian from McIntosh County, North Dakota.
My time is spent reading, writing, gardening, cooking, blogging, fiber arts – you name it, we try it.
INDYchildrendotme 